Manipulation in Relationships

Photoshop or digital image-editing software is used to manipulate images to look different from the original or to give the image a look which you desire. Manipulation is no different, it's about controlling a person or a situation to get what you want. Why? A lot of things could cause this behavior.


Do you find yourself doing things that you do not really want to? When someone close to you or in power suggests that you do something against your will, how do you feel?
People use manipulation as a way of controlling people, events and their own lives. It's a type of self-defense mechanism. Usually, these people who try manipulative tricks had no control as toddlers, often abused or abandoned, etc. Or in adulthood they believe manipulation is a means of getting what they want. Using the trick gives them power and power feels euphoric.

Checkmate is a game position in chess in which a player's king is threatened with capture and there is no way to counter the threat. Or, simply put, the king is under direct attack and cannot avoid being captured. Similar is the game of manipulation, to create a situation wherein the other person is captured and victimized.

To manipulate someone, is to play with someone's mind. You try to convince the other person that what you are suggesting is the best option for him, though you know it is going to work in your favor.
The manipulator sees himself at the center of the universe and other things revolve around him. He is happy with the sense of ownership and possession of everything, feels little empathy for others, and does little for others unless there is personal advantage.

The trick is to recognize it and ensure that you are neither a manipulator nor being manipulated, as this represents a dysfunctional relationship. Here are a few ways to know if someone is trying to manipulate you:
1. Tears: When someone wells up with tears in his eyes, it doesn't necessarily mean their genuine tears.
2. Punishment: Withdrawing love and support.
3. Lie: Manipulators are skilled liars. They make up stories that sound logical in order to make people feel sorry for them so they can get something.
4. Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and steering the conversation to another topic.
5. Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want.
6. Anger: Manipulator uses anger to for emotional intensity to get the victim into submission.
7. Guilt trip: This manipulative behavior seeks to make you feel guilty.

To identify manipulative behaviors, think about what they do and whether their words are used to get you to do something that you really don't want to do. Ask yourself few questions about the purpose of their actions.

Once you identify the manipulator make a wise choice of either cutting off from him or ignore him. Just stay your ground and do not attempt twisting and learn to say 'No'.
Manipulation in Relationships Manipulation in Relationships Reviewed by Ann on 00:10 Rating: 5

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