What's Your Negotiating Attitude?

Effective negotiations result from a combination of knowledge, experience, expertise, clear cut goals and aspirations, perspective, persistence and attitude. However, unless a negotiator enters the process with the right attitude, there will rarely be any opportunity for meaningful or long lasting success. When negotiations are successful, it brings on a meeting of the minds, where both sides truly communicate their needs and wants, and talk to each other rather than speaking at them!
The predominant types of negotiating attitudes are: 1. Adversarial; 2. Defeatist; 3. Confident and competent; and, 4. Win - win. Nearly in every instance, the potential success of any negotiation is based on the negotiator's attitude and approach.

1. Some ineffective individuals that believe they know how to negotiate begin the process as an adversarial one. They look at negotiating as something to win, rather than trying to come to an agreement that all can feel good about. These individuals often shade the truth or facts, over - promise, ask for too much, are unreasonable, and have an inflated opinion of their negotiating position and value.

2. Others seem to have the attitude that they are over their heads, and either try to compensate by using bravado, or fail to ask the right questions, or be strong enough to stand up and defend their demands and clearly identify their needs and desires. This creates a non - communicative environment where the two sides rarely discuss the most essential elements that should be addressed through this process. When someone enters this scenario and does not believe in his abilities, ideas or ideals sufficiently to defend them, he rarely competently negotiates.

3. There is always an essential need for any negotiator to be both confident and competent. What is the training, experience or expertise level of the individuals involved in these discussions? When someone takes the process seriously, and does not begin by believing that he is automatically qualified or up for the task, he obtains a significant amount of training, understudies with experts, and gains the abilities to provide him with actual self - confidence, instead of merely false bravado.

4. O
ne should never judge the success or effectiveness of negotiating immediately, but rather wait for the longer term results and ramifications. In order to obtain the results one seeks, he must begin with the attitude that the party across the table is not his adversary, and that they are equals. When win - win negotiating is the goal and mindset, optimal and longest lasting, most successful results and ramifications are obtained.

One of the reasons that professional negotiators are generally more successful than inexperienced individuals, is their approach and attitude to this process. Only when one begins with and maintains this needed attitude does he achieve the needed results and agreements.